...got off to a rough start when Teddy and I awoke to find that our scooter was stollen in the middle of the night, Christmas Eve!! With places to get to, we decided we would deal with it at a later time. stinks. Then, immediately after I took the picture (of a picture) of our adorable neice, I dropped my camera ... it was done. :( That should explain why I only took 15 pictures this Christmas...! Thankfully the rest of the day went smooth!
Then...to our surprise, we awoke Wednesday morning to find that our scooter was BACK! haha! Whoever stole it on Christmas Eve brought it back sometime early Wednesday morning! Guilty conscious? Who knows...but with our scooter back, and a new camera, things are looking better! Enjoy the few pictures, here!
Happy 2008! (can you believe it?)
Teresa
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Drive the Pacific Coast Highway from San Francisco to San Diego...check!
First and foremost...Im a complete slacker! Sorry if you were checking this page for pictures!
Here are a few to get you started, the rest can be found here!
The Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, CA
The McCords
View from 'Cross Hill', San Francisco
Great view from the PCH, just south of San. Francisco
My Playground!
ahhh....Malibu, CA
Santa Monica, CA
Chinese Theater, L.A. (probably the closest I'll ever get to a red carpet!)
Hollywood, CA!!
Laguna Beach, C.A.
ahhh....Malibu, CA
Santa Monica, CA
Chinese Theater, L.A. (probably the closest I'll ever get to a red carpet!)
Hollywood, CA!!
Laguna Beach, C.A.
Sunsent in San Diego, C.A.
All the Mexicans trying to get out of Tijuana!
All the Mexicans trying to get out of Tijuana!
(believe me...you'd want out too!)
La Jolla, C.A.
Scott & Sara 12.15.07
La Jolla, C.A.
Scott & Sara 12.15.07
Our last sunsent in San Diego.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Picture of the Day?
Can I really make it happen?
A blog that I frequent, sets out on a family vacation every summer for two weeks!
Instead of their regular post, they post a 'picture of the day'. Everyday.
As Teddy and I head out to California today, for the next 10 days, I will attempt to post a 'picture of the day'. Now, Im definitely not a professional photographer like Janelle, one of the 'girltalkers', but it will still be a picture nonetheless!
Journey with us down the Pacific Coast Highway, from San Francisco, to San Diego!
Happy Travels :)
Teresa
A blog that I frequent, sets out on a family vacation every summer for two weeks!
Instead of their regular post, they post a 'picture of the day'. Everyday.
As Teddy and I head out to California today, for the next 10 days, I will attempt to post a 'picture of the day'. Now, Im definitely not a professional photographer like Janelle, one of the 'girltalkers', but it will still be a picture nonetheless!
Journey with us down the Pacific Coast Highway, from San Francisco, to San Diego!
Happy Travels :)
Teresa
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Girls-Night-Out
Vendors, locally and from around the world, come together for one night: Shecky's Girls-Night-Out! Its happened for years in New York, L.A., San Francisco and many other cities, last night it happened for the first time in MIAMI! Don't miss it next year! It's well worth the $12 to get in!You can get more info here or view our pictures here!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
::The Corn State::
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Labor Day in S.C.
Never slowing down....we spent Labor Day Weekend in Greenville, SC with some of our closest friends! After a day in the city, we headed up to the Simmons' lake house in Seneka, SC. We spent 3 days on Lake Keowee, trying to master the 360 knee boarding...
'Success' for some of us...others, not so much :)
'Success' for some of us...others, not so much :)
Abby, Josh, Gizmo,Trish, Joel, Teresa and Teddy...Downtown Greenville
This is me...attemping the 360
and this is Teddy...doing what he does best...showing up the wife :)
and this is Teddy...doing what he does best...showing up the wife :)
Friday, August 10, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
::OKLAHOMA::
This past weekend Teddy and I headed to the Midwest, where the nicest people in the world live! We spent three days with our friends, The Rameys, and their family!
On our way home, we had a two hour lay over in St. Louis, which after an added delay, turned in to almost a three hour layover! Well, if you know Teddy and I, we can't exactly be in a new city that we've never been to before, and not get out there and explore! So we took a quick trip, thanks to the great public transportation in the City, to the Arch and the Cardinals Stadium!
Sit in an airport for three hours....never :)
Cute video of Eli eatting lunch...and going through the animals :)
~The Cooks
On our way home, we had a two hour lay over in St. Louis, which after an added delay, turned in to almost a three hour layover! Well, if you know Teddy and I, we can't exactly be in a new city that we've never been to before, and not get out there and explore! So we took a quick trip, thanks to the great public transportation in the City, to the Arch and the Cardinals Stadium!
Sit in an airport for three hours....never :)
Teresa, Kathy and The Boys!
Cute video of Eli eatting lunch...and going through the animals :)
~The Cooks
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
4th of July recipe...a little late!
Crockpot Baked Beans: the best!
8oz bacon
1lb ground beef (or turkey)
2 onions, sliced into rings
2 - 14oz cans of beans in tomato sauce
1 - 19oz can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 - 19oz can chickpeans, rinsed and drained
2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp white vinegar
1 tbsp dijon mustard
In a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, cook bacon for 5 minutes until slightly cooked, not crisp
Remove from pan and place on paper towels
Cool and Coarsely chop (or chop before you cook it...much easier!)
Drain the fat from the skillet
Add ground beef and onions to skillet and cook for 7-8 minutes, breaking up the meat, until browned and onions are translucent
With a slotted spoon, transfer the meat to the crockpot
Add beans in sauce, kidney beans, chickpeas, ketchup, sugars, vinegar and mustard, stir to combine
Cover and cook on low 5-7 hours (or 3-4 hours on high) until bubbly
Sooo good!
8oz bacon
1lb ground beef (or turkey)
2 onions, sliced into rings
2 - 14oz cans of beans in tomato sauce
1 - 19oz can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 - 19oz can chickpeans, rinsed and drained
2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp white vinegar
1 tbsp dijon mustard
In a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, cook bacon for 5 minutes until slightly cooked, not crisp
Remove from pan and place on paper towels
Cool and Coarsely chop (or chop before you cook it...much easier!)
Drain the fat from the skillet
Add ground beef and onions to skillet and cook for 7-8 minutes, breaking up the meat, until browned and onions are translucent
With a slotted spoon, transfer the meat to the crockpot
Add beans in sauce, kidney beans, chickpeas, ketchup, sugars, vinegar and mustard, stir to combine
Cover and cook on low 5-7 hours (or 3-4 hours on high) until bubbly
Sooo good!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Catchin Up!
Its been an eventful couple of weeks! We spent 4th of July with Teddy's Family, and our adorable niece Avery.
That weekend we headed up to Kentucky to celebrate the wedding of my cousin Neil and his beautiful bride Rachael!
All the cousins...
That weekend we headed up to Kentucky to celebrate the wedding of my cousin Neil and his beautiful bride Rachael!
All the cousins...
Have a great week!
Teresa ;)
Friday, June 08, 2007
Ice Cream Cake Anyone...?
One of Teddys favorite cakes is a good ole' ice cream cake, any way it comes, he'll take it! His momma used to make them for his birthday when he was a little guy, so I thought I would attempt one this year for the big 2-6! (Happy Birthday LOVE!) I started with an oreo ball crust, added a layer of vanilla ice cream, a layer of cookies and cream ice cream, a layer of 'cake shake' (ever have one of those??) and finally topped it with more oreos and white chocolate....seriously, it will change your life. ;)
Just thought Id share....
Just thought Id share....Happy eatting,
Teresa
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
"Hey Mon...Evry Ting Irie"
Well...another girls trip has come and gone...I cant believe it! This years destination: JAMAICA!
A few changes, but still the same great memories!
From the six of us...
To the three of us...
A few changes, but still the same great memories!
From the six of us...
To the three of us...
From margaritas...
To Pina Coladas and Rum Runners...
From one Birthday..
To Pina Coladas and Rum Runners...
From one Birthday..
To another... ;)
and finally....from my first Tamale....
To my first Jamaican Pattie! HA!
and finally....from my first Tamale....
To my first Jamaican Pattie! HA!
Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day Weekend!
Bye!
Teresa, for the 'girls' ;)
Thursday, May 03, 2007
More Home Projects!!!
Teddy has been a busy man with week...and its not about to slow down any time soon...
We (aka Teddy and Brad Schmidt) started the week by fencing in our backyard, and Brownie will be forever grateful ;)
Yesterday, he started the first stages of a new guest bathroom....with a little help from Bonnie (very little, lol)
We will post pictures as we progress..and just incase you dont remember what the bathroom looked like 'before'
Linving in dust....again,
The Cooks! ;)
We (aka Teddy and Brad Schmidt) started the week by fencing in our backyard, and Brownie will be forever grateful ;)
Yesterday, he started the first stages of a new guest bathroom....with a little help from Bonnie (very little, lol)
We will post pictures as we progress..and just incase you dont remember what the bathroom looked like 'before'
Linving in dust....again,
The Cooks! ;)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Bragging Rights
Teddy took home his first open win in volleyball 2 weekends ago on South Beach ;)
Above are 2 pictures of the final game!
Congratulations Love!!
Muah~
Monday, March 12, 2007
A Busy Week....
...but an awesome week!
Volleyball season is in full swing! The season opener this year was in Clearwater Beach. It was a great trip, and even a great tournament for the guys, but the weather for us spectators was awful....
The following morning, after a long drive home, we woke up at the ungodly hour of 4:00 a.m. to catch our flight to Salt Lake City, UT so Teresa could go skiing and Teddy could find more wives....just kidding ;)
We were on our way to our first annual Cook Family Ski Trip (can I say that guys?)
Here are my "Top 5" for our trip to Utah.....
5. Endless hours of The Office
4. Dads mouths on fire Beef Stew and Lasagna Jerky!
3. The many falls taken by all of us, oh yea!!!
2. Bonnie calling Ski Patrol!
1. Jamie not getting off the lift... "Dad, I didn't do it!" (sorry Jam, but yes, you beat Bonnie calling ski patrol)
Good Times! Can't wait till next year....
After a week in Utah, we were home just in time to celebrate the wedding of Tory and Trish!
Great wedding, and it was only 8 years in the making!! Holy Cow!
And tonight, we had to say goodbye to our friend Andy...headed to Seattle for bigger and better things! Andy,you'll be missed!
Good Night Everyone ;)
TC
Volleyball season is in full swing! The season opener this year was in Clearwater Beach. It was a great trip, and even a great tournament for the guys, but the weather for us spectators was awful....
The following morning, after a long drive home, we woke up at the ungodly hour of 4:00 a.m. to catch our flight to Salt Lake City, UT so Teresa could go skiing and Teddy could find more wives....just kidding ;)
We were on our way to our first annual Cook Family Ski Trip (can I say that guys?)
Here are my "Top 5" for our trip to Utah.....
5. Endless hours of The Office
4. Dads mouths on fire Beef Stew and Lasagna Jerky!
3. The many falls taken by all of us, oh yea!!!
2. Bonnie calling Ski Patrol!
1. Jamie not getting off the lift... "Dad, I didn't do it!" (sorry Jam, but yes, you beat Bonnie calling ski patrol)
Good Times! Can't wait till next year....
After a week in Utah, we were home just in time to celebrate the wedding of Tory and Trish!
Great wedding, and it was only 8 years in the making!! Holy Cow!
And tonight, we had to say goodbye to our friend Andy...headed to Seattle for bigger and better things! Andy,you'll be missed!
Good Night Everyone ;)
TC
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
::OREO BALLS::
Half a package of Oreo's (about 25-30)
8oz package of cream cheese at room temp.
white chocolate-melted
Blend Oreo's in the blender or food processor until powder like (there will be no more white)
Mix together with cream cheese until completely blended
Roll out into balls, not too big, place on a cookie sheet
Put cookie sheet back into fridge for about 1/2 hour, until the cream cheese is set again.
Melt the chocolate in a double broiler and roll the oreo balls in the chocolate to cover.
Let them cool on a cookie sheet and then store them in a tuperware in the fridge.
They will change your life. :)
Enjoy!
8oz package of cream cheese at room temp.
white chocolate-melted
Blend Oreo's in the blender or food processor until powder like (there will be no more white)
Mix together with cream cheese until completely blended
Roll out into balls, not too big, place on a cookie sheet
Put cookie sheet back into fridge for about 1/2 hour, until the cream cheese is set again.
Melt the chocolate in a double broiler and roll the oreo balls in the chocolate to cover.
Let them cool on a cookie sheet and then store them in a tuperware in the fridge.
They will change your life. :)
Enjoy!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Love Thy Neighbor
A recent post by a friend of ours caused Teddy to do a little reseach and find out more about this man named Arnold...
Last night we finally met Arnold on Ft. Lauderdale Beach and saw what he, and 'Love Thy Neighbor' are all about.
Teddy and I were able to team up with Arnold and help serve food (really good food) to over 100 homeless men and women, pray with them, share a meal with them, and hopefully encourage them...It was powerful.
I would encourage you to check out his website.
They meet every Wednesday at 5:15 p.m. on Ft. Lauderdale Beach, just North of the Clipper in front of Bahia Mar and Sundays at 'Who's on 1st' which is on Broward Blvd., and 1st St. downtown.
Arnold and his team can always use extra help!
Teresa
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
The Promises of the Lord....
"...And the Lord said, 'I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.' "
~Exodus 33:19
Be encouraged today,
Teresa ;)
~Exodus 33:19
Be encouraged today,
Teresa ;)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Superbowl Miami Visitor's Guide
Welcome to Miami, Super Bowl visitors! You are going to have a wonderful time, from the moment you arrive in our magical city, until the moment you discover that your wallet is missing.
I'm kidding! You'll be fine, probably! Because the truth is that Miami is a terrific place, despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.
Back in November, Rep. Tancredo, who represents suburban Denver, ruffled some feathers down here when he called Miami ``a third-world country.''
For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country. Miami is also a world-class party city, which is why the Super Bowl is being held here for a record-tying ninth time. Compare that with -- to pick a city at random -- Denver, which has been selected to host the Super Bowl a total of, let's see, the '60s, nope, the '70s, nope, the '80s, nope, the '90s, nope, the 2000s, nope . . .
Gosh, it seems that Denver has NEVER, not one single time in over four decades, been selected to host the Super Bowl. I'm sure there's a good reason for this, such as that the Denver area has too few hotel rooms, or too many xenophobic dimwits representing it in Congress.
But enough about Tom. Let's get back to Miami, and how you, the Super Bowl visitor, can get the maximum possible enjoyment from your stay here, with the fewest possible sucking chest wounds. We'll start with:
ARRIVING IN MIAMI
Chances are you'll arrive -- Lucky you! -- at Miami International Airport. Here you will find a spacious, modern, convenient, well-designed, passenger-friendly, state-of-the-art facility depicted on murals showing what the airport allegedly will look like if they ever finish it. This is unlikely to happen in the current century because the airport is under the control of Miami-Dade politicians, who traditionally fall into one of three categories: (1) incompetents; (2) criminals; and (3) incompetent criminals.
I have lived here for more than 20 years, and for that entire time the airport has been under construction, with almost all of the visible progress taking the form of larger and better murals.
At the airport, you will notice that many people are speaking Spanish; this is often true in Miami. It is not a big deal.
Most Spanish-speakers speak some English; in fact, many of them speak it far better than -- to pick a xenophobic dimwit at random -- Rep. Tom Tancredo.
Nevertheless, you may find it helpful to learn a few basic Spanish phrases, such as:
"Disculpe, dama o caballero.'' (``Excuse me, lady or horseman.'')
"He estado esperando mi equipaje dos días.'' (``I have been waiting two days for my luggage.'')
"Sí, es un mural atractivo.'' (``Yes, it is an attractive mural.'')
"¿Usted piensa que conseguiré mi equipaje a tiempo para el tazón estupendo?'' (``Do you think I will get my luggage in time for the Super Bowl?'')
"¿Dónde está el Rep. Tancredo?'' (``Where is the toilet?'')
GETTING AROUND MIAMI
Miami boasts a modern light rail and ''people mover'' system that cost hundreds of millions of dollars and serves an average daily ridership of nearly eight people. This system was conceived of and built by basically the same political leadership responsible for the airport, so needless to say it does not go to the airport.
It also does not go to many other places that many Miami residents would like to go, which is why most of them do not use it. To them, the Metrorail train is a mysterious object that occasionally whizzes past over their heads, unrelated to their lives, kind of like a comet.
The point is, you need to rent a car. Do NOT be afraid to do this. You may have heard scary stories about driving in Miami, but the truth is that you will be perfectly safe, as long as you remain within the rental-car lot. Beyond that, you are on your own.
If you do venture out on the roads of Miami, here are some rules to bear in mind:
* Never stop for a yellow light unless you want to be rear-ended.
* Ditto for a red light.* In fact, as a general rule, never stop.
* In Miami, signaling a turn is viewed as a sign of weakness.
* If you find yourself stuck behind a slow-moving car that does not appear to have a driver, that car is in fact being operated by a senior citizen approximately the height of a Pepsi can, but with worse eyesight. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PASS THIS CAR. At any moment the operator could suddenly decide to change lanes without warning. Just be patient, and within a mile the car will drive off the road, often into a canal or building, and you can pass safely.
* Whatever else you do, do NOT get on Interstate 95. If, by mistake, you DO get on Interstate 95, whatever you do, do NOT get off.
About parking: In Miami, it is acceptable to park pretty much anywhere, including on sidewalks, lawns, and slow-moving pedestrians. There are also some legal parking spaces; if you find one, you're supposed to pay for it at one of the electronic machines located around the downtown area, which you can identify by the clot of people cursing at them, because they never work.
Parking is trickier in Miami Beach, where the last available space was taken in 1997. If you go over there, you will have to leave your car with a valet, who will park it somewhere else. Haiti, for example.
Here are some useful Spanish expressions for getting around Miami:
"Salga de mi camino, usted Rep. Tancredo.'' (``Get out of my way, you stupid idiot.'')
"No dispare, por favor.'' (``Please do not shoot.'')
"¿Está el Océano Atlántico por aquí?'' (``Is the Atlantic Ocean around here?'')
"¿Dónde está la playa con la gente desnuda?'' (``Where is the beach with the naked people?'')
"Discúlpeme, pero usted ha parqueado en mi pie.'' (``Excuse me, but you have parked on my foot.'')
ATTRACTIONS
Here are some of the ''must-see'' attractions in the Miami area:
* The Everglades: If you like vast featureless expanses of grass growing in rotting muck, you will love the Everglades.
* Hot Women: They are everywhere down here. I'm not saying there are no attractive women elsewhere; I'm just saying that, compared to Miami women, they are Labrador retrievers. When male friends of mine come to Miami from other cities, they constantly must drop to their knees and feel around with their hands to locate their eyeballs, which have ejected themselves from their sockets in an effort to get a better gander. I myself do not have this problem because my wife (Hi, honey!) is a total babe.
* The Forest of Cranes: Miami boasts the world's largest outdoor collection of free-range construction cranes. Some of them are being used to construct unsold condominiums -- a major industry here -- but many of them have no apparent purpose other than to screw up traffic. There seem to be more of them every day. We suspect they are having wild crane sex at night.
* The performing arts center: If you want to see arts being performed, this is the place for you to go. Maybe you could do this the same day you visit the Everglades.
* The Two Comically Close-Together Arenas: In 1988 Miami built a new arena for $52 million. Then in 1999 Miami spent $175 million to build ANOTHER new arena just four blocks away. Then we sold the first arena for a tidy profit of minus $24 million. That is the kind of savvy financial-mastermind political leadership we have. It's only a matter of time before we build a second light-rail system.
* South Beach: This is the heart of the action, a happening scene where supertrendy people gather to valet-park their cars and go to clubs with names like ''Moisture'' where they join other supertrendy valet-parkers to listen to music loud enough to liquefy brain tissue while drinking watery cocktails at upwards of $18 a pop. Sound like fun? Then head on over to SoBe, where friendly club bouncers will welcome you inside, provided that you are a woman with a hotness quotient of Scarlett Johansson or higher. If you are a normal human female, or God forbid a male, you may have to wait outside in the Ugly Person Line until (a) the bouncer decides you have been sufficiently humiliated, or (b) Easter, whichever comes later. Maybe you should pencil in a second visit to the Everglades.
* Fort Lauderdale: Don't miss it! There is plenty of parking.
* Joe's Stone Crab: Miami has many great restaurants, but Joe's is the king of them all, and for a very good reason: You can't get a table. This makes it highly desirable. People have been known to spend their entire Miami vacation waiting for a table at Joe's, and yet they always come out happy, because the stone crabs are that good, plus they contain (Don't tell anybody!) heroin.
In fact, you can avoid the long wait for a table at Joe's, provided that you know the correct procedure for dealing with the maitre d'.
A TIP ON
First off, you do NOT simply walk up and hand him money like some clueless tourist dork (or, as we call them down here, ``Tancredo'').
Instead, you let the maitre d' know, subtly, that you will grease his palm on the way out. It also helps if you can convince him that you are either a regular customer, or an important celebrity such as Cher or the pope.
To help you visualize this procedure, here's a sample dialogue between you and the Joe's maitre d':
YOU: I'd like a table for four, please.
MAITRE D': Name?
YOU: Either a regular customer, or an important celebrity such as Cher or the pope.
MAITRE D':
YOU: Don't worry about money, because on the way out I will be greasing your palm with some.
That's all there is to it! While you're waiting for your table, you can enjoy a drink, or perhaps another visit to the Everglades.
But in any event, I hope you enjoy your meal at Joe's, as well as the rest of your stay here in the Miami area. And we look forward to seeing you back here in 2010, when we will be hosting the Super Bowl for a record 10th time.
In between, it will go to two other cities. Neither of them, for the record, is Denver.
By:Dave Berry
I'm kidding! You'll be fine, probably! Because the truth is that Miami is a terrific place, despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.
Back in November, Rep. Tancredo, who represents suburban Denver, ruffled some feathers down here when he called Miami ``a third-world country.''
For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country. Miami is also a world-class party city, which is why the Super Bowl is being held here for a record-tying ninth time. Compare that with -- to pick a city at random -- Denver, which has been selected to host the Super Bowl a total of, let's see, the '60s, nope, the '70s, nope, the '80s, nope, the '90s, nope, the 2000s, nope . . .
Gosh, it seems that Denver has NEVER, not one single time in over four decades, been selected to host the Super Bowl. I'm sure there's a good reason for this, such as that the Denver area has too few hotel rooms, or too many xenophobic dimwits representing it in Congress.
But enough about Tom. Let's get back to Miami, and how you, the Super Bowl visitor, can get the maximum possible enjoyment from your stay here, with the fewest possible sucking chest wounds. We'll start with:
ARRIVING IN MIAMI
Chances are you'll arrive -- Lucky you! -- at Miami International Airport. Here you will find a spacious, modern, convenient, well-designed, passenger-friendly, state-of-the-art facility depicted on murals showing what the airport allegedly will look like if they ever finish it. This is unlikely to happen in the current century because the airport is under the control of Miami-Dade politicians, who traditionally fall into one of three categories: (1) incompetents; (2) criminals; and (3) incompetent criminals.
I have lived here for more than 20 years, and for that entire time the airport has been under construction, with almost all of the visible progress taking the form of larger and better murals.
At the airport, you will notice that many people are speaking Spanish; this is often true in Miami. It is not a big deal.
Most Spanish-speakers speak some English; in fact, many of them speak it far better than -- to pick a xenophobic dimwit at random -- Rep. Tom Tancredo.
Nevertheless, you may find it helpful to learn a few basic Spanish phrases, such as:
"Disculpe, dama o caballero.'' (``Excuse me, lady or horseman.'')
"He estado esperando mi equipaje dos días.'' (``I have been waiting two days for my luggage.'')
"Sí, es un mural atractivo.'' (``Yes, it is an attractive mural.'')
"¿Usted piensa que conseguiré mi equipaje a tiempo para el tazón estupendo?'' (``Do you think I will get my luggage in time for the Super Bowl?'')
"¿Dónde está el Rep. Tancredo?'' (``Where is the toilet?'')
GETTING AROUND MIAMI
Miami boasts a modern light rail and ''people mover'' system that cost hundreds of millions of dollars and serves an average daily ridership of nearly eight people. This system was conceived of and built by basically the same political leadership responsible for the airport, so needless to say it does not go to the airport.
It also does not go to many other places that many Miami residents would like to go, which is why most of them do not use it. To them, the Metrorail train is a mysterious object that occasionally whizzes past over their heads, unrelated to their lives, kind of like a comet.
The point is, you need to rent a car. Do NOT be afraid to do this. You may have heard scary stories about driving in Miami, but the truth is that you will be perfectly safe, as long as you remain within the rental-car lot. Beyond that, you are on your own.
If you do venture out on the roads of Miami, here are some rules to bear in mind:
* Never stop for a yellow light unless you want to be rear-ended.
* Ditto for a red light.* In fact, as a general rule, never stop.
* In Miami, signaling a turn is viewed as a sign of weakness.
* If you find yourself stuck behind a slow-moving car that does not appear to have a driver, that car is in fact being operated by a senior citizen approximately the height of a Pepsi can, but with worse eyesight. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PASS THIS CAR. At any moment the operator could suddenly decide to change lanes without warning. Just be patient, and within a mile the car will drive off the road, often into a canal or building, and you can pass safely.
* Whatever else you do, do NOT get on Interstate 95. If, by mistake, you DO get on Interstate 95, whatever you do, do NOT get off.
About parking: In Miami, it is acceptable to park pretty much anywhere, including on sidewalks, lawns, and slow-moving pedestrians. There are also some legal parking spaces; if you find one, you're supposed to pay for it at one of the electronic machines located around the downtown area, which you can identify by the clot of people cursing at them, because they never work.
Parking is trickier in Miami Beach, where the last available space was taken in 1997. If you go over there, you will have to leave your car with a valet, who will park it somewhere else. Haiti, for example.
Here are some useful Spanish expressions for getting around Miami:
"Salga de mi camino, usted Rep. Tancredo.'' (``Get out of my way, you stupid idiot.'')
"No dispare, por favor.'' (``Please do not shoot.'')
"¿Está el Océano Atlántico por aquí?'' (``Is the Atlantic Ocean around here?'')
"¿Dónde está la playa con la gente desnuda?'' (``Where is the beach with the naked people?'')
"Discúlpeme, pero usted ha parqueado en mi pie.'' (``Excuse me, but you have parked on my foot.'')
ATTRACTIONS
Here are some of the ''must-see'' attractions in the Miami area:
* The Everglades: If you like vast featureless expanses of grass growing in rotting muck, you will love the Everglades.
* Hot Women: They are everywhere down here. I'm not saying there are no attractive women elsewhere; I'm just saying that, compared to Miami women, they are Labrador retrievers. When male friends of mine come to Miami from other cities, they constantly must drop to their knees and feel around with their hands to locate their eyeballs, which have ejected themselves from their sockets in an effort to get a better gander. I myself do not have this problem because my wife (Hi, honey!) is a total babe.
* The Forest of Cranes: Miami boasts the world's largest outdoor collection of free-range construction cranes. Some of them are being used to construct unsold condominiums -- a major industry here -- but many of them have no apparent purpose other than to screw up traffic. There seem to be more of them every day. We suspect they are having wild crane sex at night.
* The performing arts center: If you want to see arts being performed, this is the place for you to go. Maybe you could do this the same day you visit the Everglades.
* The Two Comically Close-Together Arenas: In 1988 Miami built a new arena for $52 million. Then in 1999 Miami spent $175 million to build ANOTHER new arena just four blocks away. Then we sold the first arena for a tidy profit of minus $24 million. That is the kind of savvy financial-mastermind political leadership we have. It's only a matter of time before we build a second light-rail system.
* South Beach: This is the heart of the action, a happening scene where supertrendy people gather to valet-park their cars and go to clubs with names like ''Moisture'' where they join other supertrendy valet-parkers to listen to music loud enough to liquefy brain tissue while drinking watery cocktails at upwards of $18 a pop. Sound like fun? Then head on over to SoBe, where friendly club bouncers will welcome you inside, provided that you are a woman with a hotness quotient of Scarlett Johansson or higher. If you are a normal human female, or God forbid a male, you may have to wait outside in the Ugly Person Line until (a) the bouncer decides you have been sufficiently humiliated, or (b) Easter, whichever comes later. Maybe you should pencil in a second visit to the Everglades.
* Fort Lauderdale: Don't miss it! There is plenty of parking.
* Joe's Stone Crab: Miami has many great restaurants, but Joe's is the king of them all, and for a very good reason: You can't get a table. This makes it highly desirable. People have been known to spend their entire Miami vacation waiting for a table at Joe's, and yet they always come out happy, because the stone crabs are that good, plus they contain (Don't tell anybody!) heroin.
In fact, you can avoid the long wait for a table at Joe's, provided that you know the correct procedure for dealing with the maitre d'.
A TIP ON
First off, you do NOT simply walk up and hand him money like some clueless tourist dork (or, as we call them down here, ``Tancredo'').
Instead, you let the maitre d' know, subtly, that you will grease his palm on the way out. It also helps if you can convince him that you are either a regular customer, or an important celebrity such as Cher or the pope.
To help you visualize this procedure, here's a sample dialogue between you and the Joe's maitre d':
YOU: I'd like a table for four, please.
MAITRE D': Name?
YOU: Either a regular customer, or an important celebrity such as Cher or the pope.
MAITRE D':
YOU: Don't worry about money, because on the way out I will be greasing your palm with some.
That's all there is to it! While you're waiting for your table, you can enjoy a drink, or perhaps another visit to the Everglades.
But in any event, I hope you enjoy your meal at Joe's, as well as the rest of your stay here in the Miami area. And we look forward to seeing you back here in 2010, when we will be hosting the Super Bowl for a record 10th time.
In between, it will go to two other cities. Neither of them, for the record, is Denver.
By:Dave Berry
Friday, January 26, 2007
::SUPERBOWL GAME/PARTY::
Superbowl Party at the COOKS house!!
Kick-off time for party: 4:00 p.m. (a little pre-game in the park across the street)
Kick-off time for game: 6:00 p.m.
What to bring: yourself!! and a lawn/beach chair...game will be projected in the back yard on the big screen! watch out!
1027 Tequesta St, Unit 1, Ft. Lauderdale - See you there!!!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Running for a Cause
Almost two months ago I committed to running the A1A Half Marathon with our church, CityChurch, on behalf of Broward House.
This past Saturday morning the serious training started with "Sargent Tom", exactly 6 weeks before the big run! Pray for me ;)
I will be raising money to help benefit the non-profit organization that houses people in our community living with HIV or AIDS.
If you would like to know how to sponsor me by giving to Broward House you can email me at: tnt4cook@yahoo.com
Happy Running!
Teresa
This past Saturday morning the serious training started with "Sargent Tom", exactly 6 weeks before the big run! Pray for me ;)
I will be raising money to help benefit the non-profit organization that houses people in our community living with HIV or AIDS.
If you would like to know how to sponsor me by giving to Broward House you can email me at: tnt4cook@yahoo.com
Happy Running!
Teresa
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